Seven Ways to Kick this Week’s Ass, Courtesy of Ron Swanson.


  • “The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.” Mind ya bizz-nass. It’s perfectly fine and natural to have friends. However, indulging in other’s people’s affairs just for the sake of being catty or having something to gossip about is probably not the best way to spend your time.  Worry about you and your life, not what other’s are doing with theirs.
  • “No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Here’s April and Andy’s: A hammer, a half eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans.” It’s always wise to have a hammer, nails, a couple screw drivers, and a measuring tape. At least. That’s a good start. A flashlight filled with jelly beans certainly wouldn’t hurt, either.
  • “OH, all of you shut up! Andy, April is mad because you said ‘Awesome sauce’ instead of ‘I love you, too’. April, he loves you, so stop being a child. Tom, we all know that you lost Lil Sebastian. Jerry, you shouldn’t have been burying your face into funnel cakes. Now all of you apologize.” Something Ron is known for – telling it like it is. You can do so in a polite manner, but don’t beat around the bush. Some people need to have the cold, hard truth spelled out for them. And sometimes, people just need to be called out on their shit.
  • “Teamwork – very important. Equally important – selfishness.” From Ron’s Pyramid of Greatness. There’s a time and a place for each. Be a team player when you need to be, but know when it’s appropriate to be selfish.
  • “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” If you’re going to do something, go all out. Give it your all – the entire booty. Don’t start ten projects and do a mediocre job at each of them. Do one project and do it amazingly.
  • “I just want to get the work over as soon as possible so I can do some fishing. Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga except I still get to kill something.” I’m not promoting or advocating the killing of sentient beings, but what works for you may not work for others. Find your yoga. Some may feel most relaxed whilst meditating and others may feel the best when they are sitting in the park with a large pizza and a cheap beer.
  • “You are your biggest ally.” I always say, if you need a helping hand, look at the end of your own arm. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that you’re awesome, and anything is possible when you put your mind to it.

Source: Parks and Recreation / NBC

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2 responses »

  1. Holy crap, I never saw it until now…at my job I kind of think like Ron Swanson, but without the mustache and badassery. Great post. I knew when I saw your blog coupled with his picture that I had to read it. Definitely advice to live by.

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