Part of maintaining a Postive Mental Attitude is being selfish. Some may disagree, and if you’re one of those, maybe you should read another blog today. Kidding. This one is worth sticking around for.
It’s happened more times than I can count, and I am sure you can relate. You’re out having a good time and there’s one friend who has nothing else to say other than complain about how hungry/tired/sore/bored/etc they are. You try to do the “good friend” thing and cater to them, but they still don’t budge from their negative attitude. They may have stopped complaining, but their vibe is still piss poor, and their body language tells everyone within a block radius that they are not happy. What do you do?
Often in cases like this, we will sacrifice our good time to make our friend happy. We’ll leave the party, change the radio station, give up plans, skip out on concerts, or whatever needs to be done to make sure our friend is satisfied. Often times they aren’t, and now you are bummed out because your favorite band is in town, and you’re missing them because your friend has a headache.
I was talking to my best friend, Sunshine, about this, and we both have a bad habit of worrying if those around us are having a good time. For example, if a group of friends are hanging out, we want to make sure that no one is feeling left out, and we may go out of our way to ensure our friends are enjoying themselves. I suppose it’s just human nature to care about others in that way, but often it can prohibit us from thoroughly enjoying ourselves because we are too worried about making sure everyone else is happy. And, in some cases, if Debbie Downer is hanging out, that can harshen our mellow because we spend our energy trying to cheer someone up who obviously has no interest in having a good time.
It is not your responsibility to cater to those around you. It isn’t your job to make sure everyone around you is enjoying themselves. What it comes down to is that you are in the driver’s seat of your life, and your friend is in their driver’s seat of theirs. While you’re both speeding down the same freeway, you both have different fates ahead of you. You both know the speed limit and the basic traffic laws, but it’s not your job to make sure your friend abides. It’s dangerous for you to be more focused on what they’re doing because it means you’re not focused one what you’re doing.
Please note, this advice should be taken with a grain of salt. Don’t be an asshole and adopt this “ME ME ME” mentality, disregarding the feelings of the ones you love. I’m saying, if a situation arises where your friend has the option to change their attitude about a situation and doesn’t, it’s not your problem. Offer kind words or assistance, but don’t allow the negative mentality of the ones around you drive you into an oblivion of upset and negativity.
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