Not to be a racist, homophobic, misogynistic, sexist, judgmental, offensive jerk off or anything, but…

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If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  I’m sure you’ve heard this more times than you can count throughout your lifetime, yet it doesn’t hurt to have that reminder.  With a vast variety of individuals residing in this big, beautiful world, it’s perfectly natural to form opinions regarding many subjects.

If you have to preface your statement with, “not to be racist but,” then chances are, you shouldn’t even proceed with the sentence.  You’re about to say something rude and jerky (and most likely uncalled for), so what’s the point?  You may as well say, “I’m about to say something extremely racist, but since I don’t give a fuck enough to refrain from saying it in the first place, I’m just going to let you know that I’m not trying to sound racist as I spit this racists slur.  It’s okay, I have black friends.”  Stating, “not to be rude” does not give you the right to ramble off whatever your heart desires, as you’re still coming off as rude.  If you want to say a rude comment, I suppose no one is going to stop you.  However, to preface your statement like that doesn’t take the edge off.  It just shows that you are aware you’re about to say something inappropriate, but don’t have the self control (or care) to refrain from doing so.

Be aware of your thoughts.  Be aware of what you are projecting.  Smack talking isn’t cute, and it sure as hell isn’t going to aid in attractive positive things into your existence.

When you feel one of these rude thoughts creeping up on you, acknowledge the fact.  Ask yourself, “Is this really called for or necessary?  Is it worth damaging my character over?”  When you become more aware of your thoughts, you can control more aspects of your life.  By catching yourself in the middle of this thought process, you can make adjustments accordingly.  By acknowledging the fact, you allow yourself to be aware of what you’re doing or saying, and can make note that it’s not appropriate.  Jerry and Esther use the logic, “I know what it is I do not want – What is it that I want?” meaning, when you are conscious of your thoughts, you control them.  If you’re thinking one thing, and realize it’s negative or counterproductive, you can easily flip the switch in your mindset.  You can consciously choose your thoughts.  It just may take some practice and self control.

Don’t be afraid to call others out on their poor language or offensive slurs.  Many times, people aren’t even aware that what they are saying can be taken the wrong way, and until they are called out on it, they just may continue to spray ignorance.  As for yourself, bite your tongue when you feel verbal diarrhea about to spew.  You may not have to eat those words later, which is sure to leave a bad taste in your mouth (as well as a bad impression on those around you).

Enjoy your weekend.  (;

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3 responses »

  1. “Smack talking isn’t cute, and it sure as hell isn’t going to aid in attractive positive things into your existence.” – so very very true. The imagery with the verbal diarrhea and eating your words is sicksational.

  2. Well said, although I like to use “not to be rude” once in a while, especially when it comes to comments on the net and stuff like that. Two people from different sides of the world (not to mention different personalities, behaviour, reactions etc…) might read the same sentence in two completely different ways, depending on themselves and the circumstances they read it in. If i’m writing something that I think might be considered rude -but I’m definitely not intending it to be- I’d write “not to be rude”, just to be safe and keep things civil…

    Anyway, great post! all the best

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