A few days ago, I bought my first “real” bicycle. I will be completely honest. I had no idea what I was looking for. I know the bicycle is a pretty simple machine. The mechanics, I mean, are pretty basic. But, it’s French to me. I know that you put your ass on the seat, your feet on the pedals and you just go. That’s about it. (Side note: I have no problem admitting that I’m ignorant about things, by the way. A lot of people take offense to the word “ignorant.” You don’t know everything. In fact, you never will. So, what’s the big deal about admitting you are ignorant about a subject? I would much rather admit my shortcomings or faults and learn about a particular subject, rather than keep quiet and brush it under the rug, hoping the teacher doesn’t call on me, embarrassing me in front of my peers).

That said, I bought a bike. I got a really good deal on her, too. There was a guy moving and getting rid of two bikes (his and his girlfriend’s). All I knew is that I was looking for a ten speed (because of the hills, you know). That’s it. So, I stumble across his ad and I’m completely blunt with him. “Now, I know you should never ask your barber if you need a hair cut, just as I shouldn’t be asking you if this is a decent bike, but, I’m going to put my faith in a fellow human.” He briefly told me stuff to look out for when bike shopping (rust, weird noises, etc). He seemed pretty upfront, so I arranged a time to meet up. Now, remember, I know nothing about bicycles. Virgin. But, I showed up, gave her a test ride and she was smooth as butter. She. Felt. Amazing. I couldn’t tell you if this guy was selling me a junker or giving me a hell of a deal, but I can tell you that I wanted needed this bike. Since I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for, I took my little test ride as an “A-OK” and let that be that. I gave him some cash and he looked at me with a smile, winked and said, “You don’t need a hair cut.” I was on my way.

I was in the U District, maybe about three or four miles from my place. I planned on taking the bus back, as it was rush hour, cold, and I hadn’t ridden a bike in years. I mean, years. So, I just rode a couple of blocks to the nearest bus stop and I felt so liberated. It reminded me of the first time I took off on my motorcycle. It was incredible and I might have let out a few “woo’s” as I peddled my stems down the road. I missed the bus. Then the next bus wasn’t going to Capitol Hill. Neither was the next. Or the next one. Whilst waiting, I kept thinking to myself, “If I just rode my bike, I could have been home by now.” So I went.

It was all uphill. No exaggeration. The entire ride was literally all uphill, except for the last four blocks being downhill from the main drag to my door step. For someone who hasn’t ridden in years, riding three plus miles all uphill is quite the work-out. But, I managed. I didn’t have water (as I didn’t intend on riding home), and I was parched. My thighs were stinging. Tears were streaming down my face thanks to the chilling night air. I was basically I mess, but I didn’t stop. I was overjoyed when I starting seeing familiar roads and establishments. I was even more ecstatic when I pulled onto my road. You know that feeling you get after taking a really long road trip, and you finally see your exit sign? That kind of goodness. I pull up to my place and bring my new lady up three flights of stairs. As I turn on the light, I notice one of my knuckles was split open, and blood, half crusty, had oozed all over my middle finger. No worries we were home, safe and sound.

Fast forward to our bonding time. I really didn’t intend of giving this much of a back story, but that’s what happens. I’m sure you are managing, eh?

She was dirty. I mean, really dirty. Like I said, I really don’t know much about bicycles and maintenance, but I’m pretty sure there’s not supposed to be hair caught in the chain and gunk smeared all over the chainrings and cogset (see, I’m getting this terminology down). As I was down on my knees really giving the bike a look-over, sadness overcame me, like a gust of wind that overpowered me and pushed me off my feet. I sat down, fingering the grease-covered parts with a heavy heart. “Someone wasn’t good to you,” I said out loud. I felt like I had rescued a puppy from a negligent owner. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Then, we bonded. Gotye was blaring as I used a warm cloth to wipe the rims and spokes clean, making my way up the chain stay and seat stay. I was legitimately sad that she was so dirty, but I couldn’t help but smile as I discarded Qtips and paper towels into a small pile on the floor. Hell, I am smiling right now just reminiscing about it. She appreciated the TLC.

I will conclude with this: I’m still unsure if I purchased a “bad bike,” but I’m not concerned about it. The time spent with my bike was (and will be) no less than incredible. We bonded. Legitimately bonded. There was definitely a connection there, and it warmed my heart. Maybe it’s just because this is my first “real bike.” Maybe it’s kind of like your first love. Everything is new and exciting. It’s unfamiliar and you are just bursting at the seams, wanting to explore every inch of this other being. Yearning to dive into their past, wade in the present and swim towards the future. The cracks and scars give them character, depth, definition, shown the world they’ve been places. They speak without mumbling a word. They have stories. They have flaws, and you love and accept them more than you could accept your own faults. You’re still trying to figure yourself out, overflowing with emotions, doubts, expectations, anticipation, what have you – and you’re trying to figure this other person out. Or, in this case, a bike. It feels good. And whether or not I got stuck with a “lemon” or not, it’s irrelevant. I’m sure it won’t take much to doctor her up, and, like people whom we care deeply for, I’m not one to judge her for what has gone down in history (i.e. how the last person treated her). She’s a part of me now.

And I have fallen in love.

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• “The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is to live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.” / Barbara Kingsolver
• Write your life manifesto. What do you stand for? What do you wish to achieve? Write out your manifesto and recite it every morning.
• Keep change in your pocket to feed expired parking meters. It’s a good karma kinda thing. (; If you pass by a red, flashing expired parking meter and a car still occupying the  space, give up a few of your cents to save the owner from a pesky parking ticket.

You can now download a printable .PDF of this and upcoming week’s article! Hang it on your friend, put in on your night stand, give it to a friend! This handy check list will aid you in accomplishing every “Seven Ways” every week! (: Click here to download and print free!

If you found this article helpful, please consider a small donation to The Radical Uprise. This site exists because because readers like you choose to support it. Please click here to submit a donation. Thank you for supporting my creative endeavors. Stay radical. xx 

Valentine’s Day. People on Facebook are on one side of the fence or the other. I’m sure this won’t even be the only anti-Valentine’s Day post. That said, I’ll keep it short and sweet. Folks are either talking about the sweet things they and their significant other are going to do, or they’re complaining about what an awful holiday it is and how lonely they are. This is why I simply don’t celebrate holidays anymore. They’re silly (to me), revolve around the obligatory exchanging of gifts and making folks who aren’t in a relationship seem alienated from society, left sobbing at home in bed with their cat and a carton of ice cream. Alright, so perhaps that last bullet point was a bit extreme, but bear with me.

Single? Don’t fret. Here’s a small bit to make you feel a little better this “holiday” season. (; The same folks who are getting bummed out about being alone on Valentine’s day are (generally) the same folks who look at the cover of Cosmopolitan, Glamour, GQ or Details and get bummed out because theirs doesn’t reflect the Photoshop’d, cropped, edited, mannequin-looking person looking back at them. Why? Influence. Expectations. Fairy tales, maybe. Because society has painted some silly picture of what we “should” strive for. Chocolates and flowers and silly stuffed animals on Valentine’s day? Says who? Hallmark? Don’t allow yourself to be influenced by the norm, the standard or expectations of others and bloody greeting card companies. Why do we feel the need to be paired up around the holidays? Because that’s what has been engrained in us. But, things aren’t always what they seem. The folks who have someone on Vday are the same folks dealing with their spouse working late and not spending enough time with me, leaving the dishes in the sink or hogging the covers at night. Alright, alright, I know this post isn’t a typical TRU post. I promise my intention is not to be “negative.” It’s supposed to be humorous, but I’m not very funny so…this is the best I can do. (;

Moving along.

Let you complete you. We are not a half, searching for the other puzzle piece that fits, compliments and completes us.

That said, for those of you still moping about not having anyone to share this lovey-dovey holiday with, why don’t you treat yourself? I’m hosting a sale in my Storenvy for you loners out there. Coupon code FOREVER ALONE gets you 10% off everything in the shop, AND a free Forever Alone meme dude button (pictured above) with every button order. That’s right. As if posting all over Facebook how sad you are about not having a significant other isn’t enough, you can wear it on your shirt or favorite bag as well, now. (; Boom. GO SHOPPIN’.

• Do something you said you’d never do. Because 1.) You should “never say never” and 2.) Trying new things can be fun and exciting (and sometimes awful and regrettable). (;
• Write a list of fifty things you love about yourself. Give your ego a little stroke. When you complete the list, hang it somewhere you will see it every day. Don’t fret. Although it may seem a little easy for the ego maniac to jot down fifty things proclaiming self love, you may find it more challenging than you anticipated. If it seems a bit overwhelming, write down ten things a day.
• Redefine normal. What is normal, really? What do you do when no one’s around? Do you suppress parts of yourself for fear of being looked at as “weird” or “gross” even? I say, who cares? We are human and we all have our own strange quirks, most of which we wouldn’t dare let anyone else know we do. Funny thing about that is, there are most likely hundreds of thousands of other folks who have the same mentality. At least on the topic of food, you’re not alone. Have you seen the “real” ways to eat foods? Don’t deny it. We’re all “weird.” So let’s stop suppressing it and muck up the waters that define the norm.

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• Practice body positivity. I mean really practice it. I’m sure I’ve posted about the topic in a previous post, but I think it could use a little refreshing. There are some folks I know who claim to be body positive, yet will post things like “when did this become hotter than this?” or that obnoxious phrase “real women have curves” (because apparently my body type makes me a..fake woman)? It may seem like you ‘re being “positive” by bringing up a certain body type or size, but putting down another is not body positive. Clarissa Pinkola Estes puts it beautifully in Women Who Run With the Wolves. “The legs, they are meant to take us, sometimes to propel us’ they are the pulleys that help us lift, they are the anillo, the ring for encircling a lover, They cannot be too this or too that. They are what they are. There is no “supposed to be” in bodies. The question is not size or shape or year of age, or even having two of everything, for some do not. But the wild issue is, does this body feel, does it have right connection to pleasure, to heart, to soul, to the wild? Does it have happiness, joy? Can it in its own way move, dance, jiggle, sway, thrust? Nothing else matters.”
• Ask your best friend what your main “fault” is and strive to remedy it. Perhaps your BFF will tell you that you talk about yourself too much. Take this into consideration when going through the motions of the week. Maybe you keep stealing their girl/boyfriend. Maybe this is something you could work on whilst traveling down the road of becoming a better person.
• Interpret your dreams. Why? It’s fun and you could learn a little something your subconscious is trying to communicate with you. There are several dream dictionaries you can get your hands on, or visit a site like Dream Doctor or Dream Moods.
• Use positive reinforcement on yourself. If you handle a situation well, by all means, boast. If you made a huge sale, helped a friend without asking for anything in return or you’re simply having a good day, hit the mirror up with a fist bump or take yourself out the dinner. Because you’re awesome.

We good? Good. (:

If you found this article helpful, please consider a small donation to The Radical Uprise. This site exists because because readers like you choose to support it. Please click here to submit a donation. Thank you for supporting my creative endeavors. Stay radical. xx 

This may be one of my favorite things ever written. It’s direct and blunt. There’s no beating around the bush. It’s simple, yet incredibly powerful. I do not believe I’ve been able to make it through this song without tears coming to my eyes, or chills running up and down my spine until my legs go numb. Real talk. Even more incredible, it touches base on the Law of Attraction, promotes being an original, independent individual and is an overall empowering piece. Now, that’s a manifesto if I’ve ever seen one. Without further ado, I present to you “Love Is…” by MaxNormal.TV

I do it for my health
Nobody feels me quite as much as I feel myself
Max Normal: The baddest public speaker,
Sub-funk from the aether, to pump through your speaker
Play, play fans you chose the wrong pot to piss in
You work for us, man. Here’s your job description:
Love us more than anything in your life
We don’t play games, drop names, pull strings or bite
Ask nothing of us save that which is practically beneficent
To you and your quest for complete self sufficiency
Choose the quickest way between two points
Don’t waste your energy on bullshit interaction
Don’t be scared of anything except letting yourself down
Out-do yourself, work harder than anyone else… now
Make very clear distinctions between parasites and creators
Be a creator instead of a second-hand artificial flavour
Do not concern yourself with anyone’s opinion of your methods, save your own
Be three steps ahead of everyone, I promise you’ll make it home
Do not sleep too much,
Be firm yet supple, use me as a weapon, Max Normal flirts with trouble,
Put me on the front-line. I cannot be destroyed
You know the deal, anti-personnel spells get deployed
Make our music as available as possible,
the shit is DIY So fuck with it if you feel you got the skill.
Do not try to be clever, rather direct and practical
Fuck fancy construct diagrammatical
The free-radical, lone hitman for hire
Power-hungry liars fan the fire
Treat people who do not understand what we do with the least amount of energy as possible
Live it, don’t give in, be original, even when you aren’t,
Make your mom proud
Take us all over the world, we like to travel
Steer clear of dead things you never know, you might unravel
Your hidden secrets, young descendants of Eve
Work the hardest at becoming entirely independent of me
Utilise me as you would a product, here comes the best bit:
Invent the future – then manifest it
Keep yourself in check, sir. Don’t forget it, decide exactly what it is that you want
Then go out and get it without requiring anything of anyone
Spark something new that’ll last forever
Don’t go to them, let them come to you
Do not underestimate your value, start representing
When my mom send me into this world she sent a blessing
This job description could be translated as: how to manage an explosion
Stay invisible till you invincible then set your plan in motion
This is war, we battle demons, become the perfect assassin
Do not endanger the unit by being anything less than perfect
Channels are open, do not be afraid of this but notice
Stepping through these channels is dangerous
Corporate giants can’t fuck with the link between our art and our clients
So come on, freak us out, be defiant and non-compliant
And above all things be honest, even if there’s no end in sight
And know that I will defend this shit with my life
Have fun but know that having indefinite fun requires meticulous maintenance
I’ve been ridiculously inconspicuous but now I’m sick of the painkillers
I’m here to bring the pain, let us avoid stagnation at all costs
Step lively, do what you say, kick information that’ll last
Know that I do not perform for people, I make music that I love
And it’s wonderful to watch people in love.

Often on Tumblr, I run across folks who upload photos of their zines and buttons they order. I absolutely adore this. It’s so great to see something that I’ve created get delivered and enjoyed by others all across the world. That said, I want to see more of it! I’m going to start rewarding folks who post photos of TRU orders. At the end of every month, I’ll browse through the tagged photos and choose a random winner. Is that incentive enough to share the goodness?

If you’ve EVER ordered anything from The Radical Uprise, you can still upload your photos and be entered to win. Yes, that zine you ordered six months ago that’s tattered and stained, yes, the buttons you’ve worn on your shoes that are scuffed and dirty. If it’s a TRU product, snap a picture and upload it. You can either upload directly to the Facebook page, or upload to your own wall and tag The Radical Uprise!

I am really looking forward to seeing some of my readers with their TRU merch! Get started today. (:

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• Read “Civil Disobedience” by Henry David Thoreau. Mainly because I just did yesterday, it was lovely and everyone should indulge in Thoreau. “Walden” is next on my list, a piece I’ve been highly anticipating reading.
• Zone out. You may want to do this on your own time instead of at the office, but in the end it doesn’t really matter (Damn you Linkin Park). Simply sit there in silence. Don’t move. Don’t do anything. Just stare out into the distance for a good ten minutes or so.
• Walk a mile (or three) a day. You’d be surprised how much you walk anyway. This is an easy task for me because I generally walk or take a bus everything, and some days end up walking five to seven miles a day. Snag a cheap pedometer from a drug store and track your progress.
• Learn to like something you don’t like. Take this week to flip your mindset on a person, place, food, or something of the like. If you don’t like something, learn to. If there’s a coworker at work who just plain annoys you, try to think about the positive aspects, smile at them and make a conscious effort to be accepting. If you don’t like avocados (shame on you), try preparing them a few different ways and perhaps you’ll find a way that strikes your fancy.

That said, an artist who never fails to leave me satisfied is Owl City. I got turned onto them quite a few years ago, courtesy of my little brother, who is always discovering the greatest music. Adam’s candy coated and catchy lyrics leave you smiling, dreaming and drifting away. I text my brother yesterday and asked what makes Owl City so amazing and he replied, “Because his lyrics capture the imagination you lose once you leave adolescents” (hence, reminding me why my brother is amazing). There’s so much truth there. Adam unscrews that  bottle of dreams and aspirations we hid away when we were told to “grow up.” His words ignite wanderlust, dreams and imagination. I was watching Vanilla Twilight bawling my eyes out yesterday. It’s good stuff, I’m telling you. On the note of dreams and imagination, one lovely piece is “Dreams Don’t Turn to Dust.” I think Adam’s music reminds us to dream, live and love. It’s a cherry on top. With extra sprinkles. And a friend to share it with. (;

Splash down in the silver screen
Into a deep dramatic scene
I swim through the theater
Or maybe I’m just a dreamer
Like a kite in the bright midday
Wonder stole my breath away
Shy sonata for Mercury
The stars always sing so pretty

This picnic will soon depart
Real life, I’m sad to see you go
I’ll miss you with all my heart
But I’d rather be alone
‘Cause I couldn’t live without
Sunsets that dazzle in the dusk
So I’ll drag the anchor up
And rest assured, ’cause dreams don’t turn to dust

Dreams don’t turn to dust!

I made for the countryside
And my eyes never grew so wide
Apple raspberry river blue
I don’t wanna leave without you
In the sound I gladly drowned
Into the emerald underground
I rub my eyes ’cause it’s hard to see
Surrounded by all this beauty

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
(I’m sad to see you go)
(But I’d rather be alone)

When tiger eyes begin making you blush
And when diamonds boast that they can’t be crushed
Let ‘em go, ’cause dreams don’t turn to dust

[Chorus]

Dreams don’t turn to dust!
Dreams don’t turn to dust!

And rest assured, ’cause dreams don’t turn to dust!

I suppose someone out there may try to diagnose me with some sort of personality disorder or ADD or something of the like, but I just plain don’t think I like obligations (or people telling me what to do, for that matter). For some reason, when there’s an obligation to do something, it takes the charm off of that thing. I can’t be the only one with this state of mind, eh?

Instead of decided that I’m going to start committing, instead of making an itemized list of what to start doing or not doing (yet again – obligations), instead of deciding to follow through with obligations, I’ve decided what I’m going to do – Stop making plans.

I understand that sometimes plans needs to be made. Perhaps your favorite band is coming into town and it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. Say you have a doctor’s appointment, a planned vacation or (groan) work. It’s not exactly practical to throw out your watches and burn your calendars. But, should you agree to commit to something, really give it some thought. Don’t make plans to break plans, because it makes you look like a big jerk.

ATTN: Friends and family. You needn’t be offended when I say, “We’ll see,” or “Call me tomorrow” or “I’ll get back with you.” I’m just tired of telling you I’ll do something and then feeling like a big meanie when I cancel on you last minute (I know that’s so obnoxious).

- But in the end, isn’t this yet another obligation or plan? To refrain from making plans? I suppose I just can’t win this round.

What about YOU? Is this something your struggle with? How do you handle the situation? Do you follow through or end up bailing? If you do something you don’t feel like, does it put a damper on your experience?

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• Start a photography project. Even if you don’t have a fancy camera, that shouldn’t stop you from capturing some of the world’s simplest pleasures. I recently started a couple small projects (with no timeline or deadline because I loathe the things) taking photos of call boxes around the city, as well as portals. Search for a “photo a day” challenge that suits you or work at your own pace, taking photos of all things red, or doorknobs or whatever you’d like. It’ll allow you to see things in a new light.
• Write letters. Grab a book of stamps (I usually get fun and colorful ones) and write a couple letters a day to friends and family. I’m nearly positive this is a repeat way to kick ass, but it never fails to bring a smile to someone’s face. It is fun and relaxing to write letters (and draw doodles) and the person who receives it will surely enjoy it just the same.
• Make something out of nothing. That’s your job to figure it out.
• Get excited about the day. From a previous post, read about the snowball effect and how you can choose to make it out of fresh, white snow or grey sludge. You can download the .PDF to make your own mini workbook!

If you found this article helpful, please consider a small donation to The Radical Uprise. This site exists because because readers like you choose to support it. Please click here to submit a donation. Thank you for supporting my creative endeavors. Stay radical. xx