Don’t make plans to break plans.

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I don’t like commitment. I don’t like obligations or being expected to do one thing or another. I’m not sure if it’s a “personality flaw” or perhaps even a case of immaturity or Peter Pan syndrome, but I don’t like being told what to do. Time and time again, I make plans and break plans. I get all excited about an outing with a friend, or perhaps even a concert. Then, when the day/time comes to carry out these obligations, I simply don’t feel like it. It seems like a chore and I’d rather stay at home watching Adventure Time or creating something for my shop. A few months ago, Piece the Veil was in town and I was beyond stoked to see them in concert. I worked myself up over the show for months. Then, the night of the concert rolls around and I just plain don’t feel like going. The venue was literally a fifteen minute walk from my house, so there really wasn’t much standing my my way. The excuse I gave myself was I “didn’t have enough cash.” This was a lie, because the concert ticket was only fifteen bucks and I ended up spending over twenty that night on junk food. Tisk, tisk.

I suppose someone out there may try to diagnose me with some sort of personality disorder or ADD or something of the like, but I just plain don’t think I like obligations (or people telling me what to do, for that matter). For some reason, when there’s an obligation to do something, it takes the charm off of that thing. I can’t be the only one with this state of mind, eh?

Instead of decided that I’m going to start committing, instead of making an itemized list of what to start doing or not doing (yet again – obligations), instead of deciding to follow through with obligations, I’ve decided what I’m going to do – Stop making plans.

I understand that sometimes plans needs to be made. Perhaps your favorite band is coming into town and it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. Say you have a doctor’s appointment, a planned vacation or (groan) work. It’s not exactly practical to throw out your watches and burn your calendars. But, should you agree to commit to something, really give it some thought. Don’t make plans to break plans, because it makes you look like a big jerk.

ATTN: Friends and family. You needn’t be offended when I say, “We’ll see,” or “Call me tomorrow” or “I’ll get back with you.” I’m just tired of telling you I’ll do something and then feeling like a big meanie when I cancel on you last minute (I know that’s so obnoxious).

- But in the end, isn’t this yet another obligation or plan? To refrain from making plans? I suppose I just can’t win this round.

What about YOU? Is this something your struggle with? How do you handle the situation? Do you follow through or end up bailing? If you do something you don’t feel like, does it put a damper on your experience?

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3 responses »

  1. I have the EXACT same issue and for the same reasons too. *vulcan mind-meld in progress – wonder twin powers activate!*
    The moment something becomes a “should” or “must” it loses its luster. Granted there are exceptions. Adam Ant is touring the US in the fall and I’ll be damned if I’m missing that. Tickets are bought and I will remain fully thrilled until I see him…I have waited…well…I don’t want to give away my age, so I’ll just say a long-assed time to see him and come hell or high water it shall come to pass. So yeah…Adam Ant and travel plans are about the only exceptions. So I understand 100%. My friends often have to drag me kicking and screaming the whole way…once I’m out, I’m good…but if it were up to me and me alone I’d rather stay home with a good book, movie, editing photos or a few hours of heavy conversation about ghosts, ufos, zombies and funny cat stories.

  2. I am definitely the same way. You’re not alone. I think I seem like a huge jerk to others too. Keep up your good work Jetta <3

  3. personally, I feel as if it is a matter of motivation. It’s always nice and “comfortable” at home which makes it hard to leave your cozy little nest instead of getting out and doing something. Again, I’m speaking from personal experience. I also think some of it may be routed back to childhood when parents, teachers, etc. would almost force you to do activities and things you didn’t want to do.
    However, this being said, I think that when I push past the motivation block (wherever the deeper source of it all may have came from) and actually go out and do said-thing, I end up totally loving it and having a wonderful time and thinking how silly it was that I was making excuses not to go.

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